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Crime Alert! Robbing Verbs Lowers Results

By Bonnie Budzowski
President, InCredible Messages, LP

Have you noticed a subtle wave of crime around you? People are persistently robbing their verbs. You might be a perpetrator yourself, making your messages longer, duller, and less likely to keep people’s attention.

To rob a verb is to use it in a way that strips it of things that rightfully belong to verbs: clarity, conciseness, and power.

Most people who commit this crime do so inadvertently, usually in an effort to sound impressive. They do it by using a form of the weak verb to be (is, was, will be, has been, etc.) and then turning a stronger verb into a noun. Here’s an example:

Our establishment has undertaken the deliverance of alternatives to enhance the effectiveness of your regularly scheduled task management.

This 18-word sentence is neither clear, nor concise, nor powerful. Develop a string of sentences like this, and you’ll get a needlessly long document that no one wants to read. As it stands, the verb in the example—has undertaken—is dull and powerless. The author robbed a strong verb when he or she turned the action word deliver into the noun deliverance. Let’s undo the damage:

Our company delivers services to make each day easier for you.

Making the point directly and putting the power back into the strong verb gave us a clear, dynamic sentence that is approximately 40% shorter than the original. This is writing that catches the reader’s attention. This is writing the reader is willing to stick with until the end. This is a crime undone!
 

Permission is granted to reprint this article when the following contact information is included: © 2010 by Bonnie Budzowski, President of InCredible Messages, LP. For more free articles, go to www.IncredibleMessages.com or contact Bonnie at info@IncredibleMessages.com.

Bonnie Budzowski, President of inCredible Messages, is a recognized expert—helping people to use influence and persuasion to sell their ideas and move business forward. Bonnie is a professional speaker, author and coach. She recently launched a new coaching project to help her clients "Write the Book of Their Dreams."

Clients appreciate Bonnie’s practical, humorous and high-energy approach. She holds an MA in Communication and has been called upon to work with corporations, entrepreneurs, universities, and associations.

If you’d like to sell your ideas, boost your influence, or advance your career through a book or presentation, call Bonnie at 412-828-1629, bonnie@inCredibleMessages.com or visit her website at www.inCredibleMessages.com. 

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