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Tips on Persuasion: Don Quixote Style

By Bonnie Budzowski
President, InCredible Messages, LP

Do you remember Sancho Panza, the faithful squire of the legendary Don Quixote?  He left his home and family to serve a crazy old man who thinks he’s a knight.  In the play, Man of LaMancha, when he is asked why, Sancho bursts into song, “Because I like him.  I really like him. . . .”

If Don Quixote has earned its place in history, so has the principle of persuasion described by Sancho.  Behavioral researchers consistently find that we are inclined to respond positively to people whom we like.  That means we buy from those we like, we accept their proposals, we comply with their requests, and we refer business to them. 

This principle is simple, and it’s good news to people who are naturally charismatic.  But what about the rest of us?  What can we do to use the principle of likeability to achieve positive results?

Look for Similarities.  Although most of us intend to be open-minded about the differences in others, we instinctively find people who are similar to us more likeable that those who are not.  This is an automatic, visceral response.  One study showed that we literally move closer to people who we perceive to be similar to us.

To increase your persuasive powers (as well as to enrich your life), make it a habit to look for similarities when you first encounter someone—whether that someone is a potential customer, professional colleague, or co-worker.  You might have to make an effort, but it will be worth it!

Name the similarities you find, and both you and the person you’ve just met will relax and be inclined to connect in positive ways.  According to Robert Cialdini, an expert in persuasion and influence, it’s important to use similarities to connect early in a relationship.  This “creates a presumption of goodwill and trustworthiness in every subsequent encounter.”  In other words, if you connect over similarities early on, you’ll always find it easier to persuade this person—to hire your company, to agree to your proposals, to help you with projects, or to refer business to you.

Be liberal with praise.  According to Cialdini, praise is another route to likeability.  When we go out of our way to praise the characteristics, actions, or work habits of another, that person is instantly inclined to like us.  To put it another way, people who complement others have a higher likeability quotient that those who don’t. 

Praise not only increases likeability, it tends to disarm a person’s defenses while it increases receptivity. 

Remember, you don’t have to like everything about a person to find something praiseworthy.  You might utterly dislike a person and still sincerely praise that person’s commitment to the department or his/her volunteer activity in the community.  That praise can open a door in a relationship that’s historically been strained.  It’s worth the effort.

The story of Don Quixote, around since the 17th century, inspires us because the errant knight’s dream of chivalry is timeless.  So, of course, are the knight’s persuasive powers over his sidekick, Sancho Panza.  Don Quixote is likeable.  Are you?

Permission is granted to reprint this article when the following contact information is included: © 2010 by Bonnie Budzowski, President of InCredible Messages, LP. For more free articles, go to www.IncredibleMessages.com or contact Bonnie at info@IncredibleMessages.com.

When you or someone in your organization needs coaching in presenting, writing, or influencing others, Bonnie Budzowski is the perfect resource.  She is a keynote speaker, seminar leader, and coach, with engagements across the country.  Bonnie brings over 20 years experience in increasing business results to your organization.  She is author of Secrets to Get Busy People to Respond to Your Messages and Clickety Clack:  86 Ways to Keep Your Speech on Track.  Contact her at 412-828-1629 or bonnie@inCredibleMessages.com. 

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