Permission is given to reprint the following articles, provided that the following contact information is provided in its entirety. 

© by Bonnie Budzowski, President of InCredible Messages, LP. 
Visit  www.IncredibleMessages.com or contact Bonnie at info@IncredibleMessages.com. 

See More InCredible Messages Articles or visit InCredible Messages Blog

Need More Information? Stop Talking

By Bonnie Budzowski
President, InCredible Messages, LP

An executive and I were discussing the use of questions to uncover what’s behind a person’s position on a particular issue. We discussed a number of open-ended questions, like the following:

• Can you give me a bit of the history behind this process? What problem did it originally solve? Who was on the team of developers?
• Here are the facts as I see them. What else do I need to look at? What am I missing?
• In an ideal world, we would proceed in the following way…. What concerns does this raise for your department?

The executive expressed some disappointment: “I was hoping you’d tell me some questions to get behind these issues.”

Later, I realized the opportunity I had missed. Nothing was wrong with the list of questions. The secret the executive was hoping to find lies in the way we handle the responses we get to the questions. For example, if a person’s answer to a well-formulated question still leaves us murky about what she really thinks, we can respond with a simple statement: “Please tell me more.”

The secret, then, is to stop talking. Assuming you are not asking for private or embarrassing information, a pause is a powerful tool. In western culture, if one person is silent after a question is answered, someone else will rush in to fill the vacuum. In the process, that person will often provide more information in relation to the question—exactly what the silent person is looking for.

Permission is granted to reprint this article when the following contact information is included: © 2010 by Bonnie Budzowski, President of InCredible Messages, LP. For more free articles, go to www.IncredibleMessages.com or contact Bonnie at info@IncredibleMessages.com.

Bonnie Budzowski, President of inCredible Messages, is a recognized expert—helping people to use influence and persuasion to sell their ideas and move business forward. Bonnie is a professional speaker, author and coach. She recently launched a new coaching project to help her clients "Write the Book of Their Dreams."

Clients appreciate Bonnie’s practical, humorous and high-energy approach. She holds an MA in Communication and has been called upon to work with corporations, entrepreneurs, universities, and associations.

If you’d like to sell your ideas, boost your influence, or advance your career through a book or presentation, call Bonnie at 412-828-1629, bonnie@inCredibleMessages.com or visit her website at www.inCredibleMessages.com. 

Return to Top